


if i had a heart

by aheadfullofdreams89



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Dark, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Forced Orgasm, Hurt/Comfort, Oral Sex, Overstimulation, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-26 07:28:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20738483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aheadfullofdreams89/pseuds/aheadfullofdreams89
Summary: Summary: You are waiting for Connor to return from the events in the game. Things take a turn in a non-pleasant way for you.





	1. if i had a heart

**Author's Note:**

> Notes/Warnings: NC-17, NON-CON, if that is a sensitive topic to you, please don’t read any further, so clearly NSFW at all! smut all the way, explicit language, very descriptive, violence, abuse, rough and so very dark. I just like to make the protagonist suffer, don’t judge please. I love them all to bits. 
> 
> Not beta'd.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: You are waiting for Connor to return from the events in the game. Things take a turn in a non-pleasant way for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes/Warnings: NC-17, NON-CON, if that is a sensitive topic to you, please don’t read any further, so clearly NSFW at all! smut all the way, explicit language, very descriptive, violence, abuse, rough and so very dark. I just like to make the protagonist suffer, don’t judge please. I love them all to bits.
> 
> Not beta'd.

You saw the live feed from the docks on TV. A ship called Jericho was the center of attention this evening not only in the area of Detroit. Rumour had it that the deviants were holed up in there planning their next big strike against humanity. People were very cautious after the events from the last few days regarding their machines that somehow developed free will and the video of demands that was released by their leader Markus. They were afraid and irrational which was just as dangerous as a pack of panicked animals.

Normally you would have just stayed tuned for information only. You were rooting for the androids though after realizing that there was more to them than just metal, wires and code. You knew first hand that they made excellent friends, having gotten befriended by Connor, a special model currently working at the DPD. That was why you were anxious now, biting your nails, eyes glued to the screen. 

What was so bad about the whole damn situation on TV was knowing Connor was going there on his own. Hank had called you earlier to keep you updated. He knew you had a soft spot for that android, same as he. He told you about how Connor needed to find Markus and turn him in if he wanted to avoid being deactivated for good. It was horrible really, Connor having to go on a suicide mission without backup.

Still you were a little disappointed that Connor had not told you himself where he was headed since you were getting kind of close, spending your free time together. You even had developed a little crush on him from the beginning, knowing for sure it would lead nowhere. Well, you kinda had a thing for guys who did not return your love so there is that. But how could you not fall for him? That boyish charm that made you swoon, dark chocolate pools for eyes that were so captivating, hair looking so soft, almost begging to be mussed up. He was a real eye catcher, you had to give CyberLife credit for that one. Plus he was such a sweetheart when he wanted to be, just the right amount of confidence and clumsiness to him. You wondered if he had been designed that way or if he had developed those traits on his own. 

He was a good listener, offered profound advise and gave you the feeling to matter. 

It was a shame that he was “just an android”, he could have easily been Prince Charming out of a Disney movie. Though perfect people like that did not exist anyway. People were made of flaws and good intentions. You had yet to find the flaw in Connor. God, you should really stop putting on those rose-colored glasses when it came to him.

***

When you saw the cavalry arrive at the scene with choppers your heart almost stopped, hoping that Connor could evade the bullets that were about to fly around in the hull of the shipwreck. How would they know Connor was fighting on their side? How would they know to spare him? All androids were going to be hunted down. You knew he was capable of defending himself, getting out of situations others would not be able to. But still you feared for him. Then the reporter said that explosions were confirmed on the ship, no news of who initiated them or if there were any casualties. All was still in a blurry, chaos breaking out.

You were so deep in thought and concentrated on the news that you flinched when suddenly your phone started buzzing and ringing.

Incoming call from… Connor!

With shaky fingers you picked up, ready for anything. ‘Please don’t be injured’ you internally chanted like a mantra.

“Hey”, Connor said simply, voice heavy with relief, insecurity and fondness. You had almost accepted the fact that you would never hear this captivating voice again. Tears forming in the corner of your eyes not able to hold back your nervousness.

“Oh god, Connor! I saw the news. Are you… Are you alright? Where are you? Are you hurt?”, you babbled, panic evident in your hastily spoken words. 

“I’m okay. We made it out of Jericho before it all went to hell.”

We? Who was we? Scratch that, you did not care about that right now.

“Good. That’s… that’s good to hear”, you wiped at your eyes, now fully bawling but still you had to get it off your chest.

“I was so worried about you. Hank told me what you were about to do. I… why didn’t you call me?”

“I had to act quickly, (Y/N). There was no time for sentimentalities at the time. I needed to find the deviant leader and bring him in for interrogation or else they would have deactivated me. I… I know I should have called you. It was just not my priority objective then. I’m sorry”, Connor explained guilt-ridden.

Ouch! That did hurt quite a bit. It should not have phased you the way it did though. You knew his focus was on wherever CyberLife decided it to be. You would never ever make it on that list that was for sure. Still… the heart wants what the heart wants.

“No, it’s fine. Don’t be sorry. I was just scared something might have happened to you.” You fiddled with the hem of your hoodie jacket.

He did not answer to this one. A heavy silence falling over the both of you. Then after a few moments Connor found his voice.

“At Jericho I… I deviated”, he announced. Boom. Just like that.

What? Did he just say…? No, it couldn’t be. Mr. I-always-accomplish-my-mission would never…

“Aren’t you going to say something?” His hopeful voice cut through your jumbled thoughts.

You were at loss for words. You wanted to squeal, scream, shout it from the rooftops, hug the world. You smiled to yourself.

“About damn time”, you laughed into your phone. He did too albeit sounding a little nervous. You build up all the courage you could muster. It was now or never.

“Connor, I…” But you paused again. Did you really want to drop the bomb on him that fast? Tell him in the heat of the moment that you did not dare to dream about this day. Where he would finally open his eyes and see what was in front of him? That you wanted him to come home. Home to you. That you wanted to hold him and never let go again. Kiss him until you could not breathe anymore. Would you really want him to know that you had butterflies in your stomach whenever he looked at you or that his smile made your knees go weak? His voice causing your pulse to speed up?

You decided it was not something you just talked over at the phone. Maybe it was best if you kept it to yourself for a little while longer. You would not want to just blurt it out like that. He sure had a lot on his mind right about now without you adding your messed up emotional world.

“I… Why don’t you come on over? I would really like to see you right now…”, you admitted. “Just… Just to make sure that you really are as deviant as you sound of course”, you tried to play it funny and cool. You failed miserably.

Connor chuckled at first, then replied apogetically.

“If I could I would, believe me.” God he sounded so different, so much more human, it was endearing.

“But there are a few things that need to be taken care of before I can come and see you. We are on our way to a safe gathering place, round up every android up we can find. Markus is planning something, he wants me there with them.”

Okay, well that was not necessarily a no.

“How about I get in touch with you once I know what’s what? Could be a little while though. But I promise you, soon as we finish up I’ll be there. I need to see you too (Y/N). Make up for the lost time and all…” he revealed timidly.

Oh wow, he did say that! You heard it loud an clear. Your heart jumped.

“That would be beyond fantastic, Connor.” Your smile widening.

“Great. Then I guess… talk to you later?”

“Yeah, talk to you later. And stay safe!”

“ I will, don’t worry. I look forward to seeing you.”

You hung up, grinning like an idiot, feeling weightless and lightheaded. Whew, what an evening!

***

A little hyper from your call with Connor half an hour prior you finally plopped down on your couch, TV still broadcasting live from the docks. You took no interest in it anymore already knowing all you needed to know. Connor was safe, at least for now. 

And if everything went according to plan you would be able to put your arms around him sometime tonight and that was really everything that counted right now.

You allowed yourself to relax, laying down, closing your eyes and curling up under the blanket. You just needed to rest your eyes for a moment.

***

A loud knocking woke you up. Damn! You had not wanted to fall asleep so fast when you laid down earlier. Such a weak will! It could not have been long though, it was a little after 9:30 pm yet.

You were just starting to get up when the triple knock sounded again. It took you a second to come to and connect the dots. Who would bang like a maniac at this time of… Connor! You jolted out of your drowsiness with a start and stood up quickly, making your way to the door. Finally. Rubbing your eyes, straigthening your clothes and running your fingers through your hair to at least look a little more presentable you unlocked the door.

The sight before you made your heart burst with a mix of pure joy and relief, feeling like you could finally breathe again. A warm feeling spreading from your belly up- and downwards: Connor, all cleaned up in his CyberLife uniform was standing on your front door looking neat as a pin. Leaning against your door frame with one hand for support and regarding you from under his lashes, eyes half-lidded, a lazy smile tugging at his lips, stray strand of hair on his forehead.

You wanted so badly to pull him close to you and taste that smile, needing the contact you craved for so long. A sigh escaped you as you opened your mouth to say how glad you were to see him well. That everything was going to be okay now that he was here and that you were the happiest girl in the world right about now. But you did not get to that point for Connor had thoughts of his own and crossed the little distance between the both of you, grabbing your face in both of his deadly but oh so soft hands kissing you for all he was worth. You had not seen that coming and squeaked a little out of surprise. In none of your fantasies did you dream about your first kiss to be so fierce and needy but who were you to complain really? After all it had been an eventful day for everyone. 

His tongue demanded entrance to your mouth, licking your lips. You allowed him to slip inside while he was blindly walking you backwards into your appartment, kicking the door loudly shut behind him. Your back hit the wall to your living room when Connors hands slowly started wandering down your neck, arms and upper body leaving your skin electrified, eyes screwed shut tightly.

You moaned into his mouth and gave in, letting him set a sensual, deep and demanding rhythm. God, he was about to devour you wholly, you were sure of that. His toungue as skilled as the rest of him. But it felt so, sooo good. Resting your hands on his chest you tilted your head to give him a better access. A few deep tonguestrokes later he caught your lower lip between his teeth and looked at you, your faces mere inches apart. You have never seen that look on him before. Pupils dilated, a dark aura around him, a devilish glint in his eyes. A fire burning behind those dark brown orbs whose intensity took you by surprise and set your insides alight.

You had little time to force some air into your lungs before he was on you again claiming your mouth, rubbing circles on your hipbones with his thumbs.

Were you still dreaming? Or was he really here? The taste of his articial saliva in your mouth not unpleasant, the musky scent of his cologne in your nose (had he always worn that?)… it all played havoc with your mind. You did not know if you could even remember your name after he was finished with you. You closed your eyes all the while, relishing in those sensations.

You dared to grip his tie to hold him close, showing him that this is exactly what you wanted and encourage him to keep up his behaviour. When you thought about Connor in the past you always dreamed of this shy guy, giving you chaste kisses. Asking for permission to touch your hand and being very considerate when it came to handling you. Never ever would you have thought that you would like him to go all dominant on you and for you to crave it so badly.

He let go of your mouth hesitantly, a string of saliva connecting your lips, looking at you sensually like he was pondering on how to drive you wild next.

You looked up at him dazed, nothing on your mind but him and the way he made you feel.

That little shit smirked down at you knowing full well what he just caused you, bringing a hand up under your chin to tilt your head up. You wanted to protest jokingly, how dare he barge in here and make you lose all your thoughts and how were still a little mad that he got himself in a dangerous situation like that.

There was no time for that though. His hand left your chin only to bring up both your wrists and pin them beside your head in a firm but not hurtful grip. He dove in once again, your lips fairly swollen by now and his tongue still demanding but also a little slower, alternating in sucking at your tongue from time to time. You curled your fingers. 

You had it bad for him, letting yourself get lost, concentrating on the moans that were starting to rumble from his chest, like he could not hold back any longer. And you were right, just a few moments later he pushed his knee between your legs giving little strokes through your sweatpants letting you ride his thigh. You would have screamed if your mouth had not been occupied otherwise, just a muffled cry making its way out of your throat straight into his mouth. He was gonna be the death of you.

Then he drew back all of a sudden leaving you trembling against the wall, mischief radiating from his eyes. He smirked at you, so satisfied with himself.

“Miss me, darlin’?’”, was all he asked bemused, voice low and promising so much more.

You stared up at him, catching your breath and getting lost in that moment. Your gaze flickering between those lustfilled eyes and the little freckles painting his perfect face. You could only nod frantically, like you were drugged. High on him.

He chuckled darkly.

“Oh, I know you did”, he drawled, bringing up a hand to cup your cheek and jawline, grazing his thumb over your cheekbone. You followed, leaning your head into his touch. He never stopped possesivly smiling at you.

“You know what?”, his gaze wandering down your whole body slowly, taking a step away from you withdrawing his hand. “How about we take the party somewhere else…" 

You gulped, not knowing how to respond to that. Here you were, in your hallway, couch outfit on you, looking like have not slept in a week, getting turned on from the thought of things to come. Aroused to no end by that newly gone deviant android detective you crushed on hard and who made it his goal to kiss you into a frenzy (mission accomplished!) without so much as a 'hello’.

Wow, that really said a lot about you, did it not?

How could you say no?

When he was standing right before you, looking for all the world like your teenage wet dream come true, working you up into a willingless mess and making you feel like you could touch the stars. Your breath still ragged you felt the heat between your legs increasing. God, how bad you wanted it, needed it.

But how could you say yes?

Connor had only been "awake” for a few hours, not accustomed to human emotions and all of a sudden there was nothing more important to him than to get you between the sheets? That could not be right. Did he do this because he thought that it was what you were all about? To please you? Or was this really what he wanted after having been a living doll for so long, bottling everything up? You could not shake the feeling that you were just taking advantage of him.

“Connor, I don’t think it’s such a good idea…”, you pointed out weekly.

“Why not?”, he interrupted briskly.

“I just… I feel like I’m the one pressuring you into this. That you do this because you think it’s what I want.”

He contemplated your words for a moment. Raising an eyebrow he answered cockily:

“Funny. I thought I was the one barging into your appartment on a weeknight kissing the fucking life out of you.”

At the baffled expression on your face he smiled like the predator that he was designed to be. 

Dirty talk? That was his thing? You never knew you wanted it too until he started it. You felt your panties getting a little damp.

“Trust me, darlin’. It’s what I want.” He took a cautious step towards you and your pulse sped up, your heart was in your mouth when he was near enough to kiss your cheek oh so lovingly. You state of arousal did not go unnoticed. Connor probably had scanned you.

“Wooow, am I doing this to you?” Running his fingertips from your breasts to your belly, fascinated by the state you were in. Your head lolled back against the wall.

Okay, so this secret desire you had kept to yourself for so long was going to be reality tonight. Connor wanted to go all the way with you, but you did not get head around it. So you simply nodded.

In a flash his hands were on the back of your thighs, hoisting you up and pressing you against the wall with his upper body. He wrapped your legs around his waist, all the while staring longingly into your eyes. One hand sneaking under his jacket splaying on his shoulder blades, the other coming to rest on the back of his neck to play with the short hair you found there. He began to rumble deeply from his chest.

“What are we waiting for?” he breathed lowly, put his hand under your bottom and started to carry you towards the bedroom. He squeezed your cheeks lightly making you sigh in contentent.

You should have known he was an ass guy.

So this was going to be it. With every step he took your excitement went up a notch. You smiled into his shoulder relishing the feeling of being pressed so close to him.

He gently laid you down on your bed, metal creaking, and you scooted up towards the headboard. Grabbing the remote on your bed stand you turned on the little table lamps on your dresser and in various other corners of your bedroom, casting a light glow to everything around you. Propping up on your elbows you watched him.

Connor stood at the foot of your bed, eyeing you curiosly too.

“Well, well… How about we start off real slowlike.” His voice husky and low. You felt the bed dip as he joined you, crawling up to you like a bengal tiger on the hunt stopping when his face was above your torso.

He pulled the zipper of your hoodie jacket down slowly, leaving you in just your bra, placing open mouthed kisses and licks on your sensitive flesh. You let your now almost bare upper body fall back into the mattress, concentrating on the feeling of him lightly blowing on the spots he licked, mouthing you through the fabric. You groaned.

He grinned and continued his journey up your body and kissed you sweetly once. 

When he finally sat up and straddled your hips he rubbed your flanks.

“Or are you…” he started undoing his neatly done tie, ripping it off with a quick flick of his wrist, “up for a little bit more than just that?” Smug bastard was grinning, slitting his eyes looking like the cat that got the cream.

Your eyes rolled back into your head at the thought of what he was about to do, another moan finding its way out of your mouth, you started to wriggle a little bit.

“Connor… please!”, you keened, trying to arch your hips up and… where did he learn all of this? God, it felt marvelous.

“Patience, darlin’, is a virtue you know”, he chided you jokingly. 

“But I’ll let you get away with it this one time.”

He took both of your wrists and brought them up over your head tying them together and then tying the loose end of it around one of the metal struts of the headboard. He checked the knots again and trailed his hand down your arms down to your cheek, cupping your face. You let him take the reigns, fascinated by this new side of him, liking the way it felt to play with fire. 

He noticed again that you were getting wetter by the second.

“I knew you were wired like that”, he cooed approvingly. 

“Now, be a dear and open up.”

He put his thumb on your lips, slipping it inside and held your jaw open lovingly, his face coming closer to yours.

Oh, that sinful voice! You would gladly let him do things to you that would make your parents cry. And thank him for it.

You felt something drip on your tongue, then realizing that he just had spit in your mouth. He withdrew his finger and patted your cheek. You swallowed it down eagerly.

“Attagirl”, he drawled proudly. 

Befuddled and a surprised how easily he had you wrapped around his fingers you wondered since when you enjoyed these kind of games in bed. You have never before indulged in them, not seeing the appeal in that.

Now you did.

Though you wanted to reach out so badly to touch and taste him, you really liked being at his mercy, letting him have his way with you. Sure that you were safe with him no matter what kind of show he put up right now, wanting to make you believe otherwise. That he was ruthless and cold, taking what he wanted no matter if you wanted to give it or not. He would never hurt you, it just was not in his nature. Your Connor would never go farther than you were comfortable with, always holding a protective hand above you. Also he could sense if you got distressed, maybe even before you realised it yourself. 

While you were deep in thoughts about how good it felt, Connor had moved down to where the magic really happened, dragging his nose over your overheated skin just above the waistband of your pants. You lifted your hips so he could remove them, leaving you in your underwear. He nibbled and sucked on the whole area below your bellybutton moving from hip to hip. You threw your head back, a loud gasp escaping you. He was such a tease!

He looked up at you from under his lashes a lascivious smile on his lips and ceased from marking your skin with his mouth. 

“Try to stay quiet for me. Can you do that”, he breathed out, more commanding than asking.

“Uh-huh”, you agreed and wriggled your hips and straining against the tie that kept you in place.

This was going to be a wild ride if he kept that demeanor up!

Then he was caressing your left thigh, fingers digging in delicately, holding it steady for him to cherish. Open mouthed kisses on the sensitive inside so close to where you wanted him but too far away from here he would do any good. He really knew what he had to do to keep you on your toes.

Your right thigh got that same tantalizing slow treatment, little pecks up, up, up to your groin. Connor took the elastic band from your leg between his teeth dragging it away from your skin only to let it snap back causing it to sting a little. Oh! That felt so good.

“Hnnnng!”, you choked out trying hard to not make a sound, thrashing from side to side as much as you could. You wanted so bad to please him and keep quiet.

Connor laughed tauntingly.

“You liked that didn’t you? How about I try something different, hm… Putting my mouth to good use. I bet you’re a real slut for me going down on you, tongue-fucking you into next tuesday. Don’t you think, darlin’?”

Groaning, but biting your lip to keep from crying out loud. Oh, yes, yes, yes! He had no idea how much you wanted it. Or maybe… he did.

Connor moved even further down, lying between your legs, spreading them to fit in between, splaying his fingers there. He watched you intently and licked a stripe up your core over your panties. You shrieked when he started sucking lightly. You bucked up hard at that.

“Oh, this is going to be fun”, he murmured against your thigh, kissing it lightly. “Seeing you all helpless and devasted by just touching you the right way. Humans are so predictable at times.”

You wanted to shout at him to finally get a move on and stop all his stalling. Make good on the promises of taking you to heaven.

You still could not believe that this was the same guy that stumbled over his words when you first met. 

***

You were on the early shift at the coffee shop when Connor had walked in to pick up a tall cup of coffee for Hank as a surprise. He had told you that his new partner at the DPD really was not a morning person. He smiled shyly at you, cheeks tinted a light blue. Was this android blushing? Was that even possible? You found it very cute nevertheless and you were glad when he came back the next day and the day after that. Since that day regularly actually, depending on your shifts.

You had become quite close, liking the way conversations with him were just so easy and nonchalant. He was such a gentleman and even accompanied you home from time to time when it was getting late and dark out to make sure you would arrive home safe after work. He really was one in a million but sadly not your one. He did not seem to be interested in any kind of romantic way. It just was not part of his program. 

Dating was a bit of a hard topic for you at the time anyway, having had a few bad experiences in a row and wanting to stop for a while. The last one you went out with thought that he was god’s gift for women annoying you to no end so that you decided you could be happy on your own for just little bit longer.

Meeting someone like Connor had been refreshing. You did not need to impress him with short skirts or be all dolled up to get his full attention. 

It was a tad sad that he would never return your feelings. Sometimes you tried to flirt with him and hoped you would provoke a matching reaction just for the hell of it. But it was no use, he was built too analytical for that.

Well, a woman could dream. Nevertheless he was easy to look at and that was enough to fire up your imagination when needed. 

And having a loyal friend was worth more than being in a relationship knowing it would lead nowhere anyway.

Connor liked being your friend too and you spent more and more time together. He was glad to experience this, collecting data on social life and recreation. You did not know if he had picked up on your feelings toward him. If he did he never mentioned it.

***

“You’re just so eager, darlin’. You need more, don’t you? I’ll give you more, don’t worry.” That throaty voice should really be illegal.

He sat up between your legs, hooking his fingers in the waistband of your lightblue lacey panties. You lifted your hips to give him better access, hoping he would speed up his actions a little. You were getting kind of hot and bothered here. Like really!

He dragged the garment off you hips ever so slowly but finally pulling it off completly. His breath ghosting over your heated core when he exhaled deeply.

Your legs began to tremble, your mind all fuzzy. Then you felt his hands of the insides of your knees, spreading them wide before laying down again between them.

“I’d ask you to beg like that good little girl that you are. But since you’ve done suuuch a good job a keeping your mouth shut, please continue to keep quiet darlin’”, he demanded.

Looking up at you, heat blazing behind his eyes, naughty smile on his lips.

“Enjoy the ride!”

And with that his mouth was on you, warm rough tongue lapping at your wetness. You pulled at your bounds thinking you were going to explode.

“Mhhhmhhhhh!”, you wordlessly cried out, desparation on your face.

You felt him smile as he flicked your clit with his tongue, sucking and biting lightly. Oh god, his mouth took you to new dimensions. You decided to shut off your thinking and just savour the feeling of his fondling.

After a while he moved his mouth a little deeper and suddenly you felt his skilled tongue stroking so so very deep inside of you, massaging your inner walls oh so vigorously and powerful.

Your breath coming in harsh gasps, not getting enough oxygen into your system to compensate, heart beating a mile a minute. You would have never dreamed for it to feel that good, a tingling fire building up in your belly. You already were getting close. Please… not yet. You prayed that you could just last a little bit longer and keep enjoying this whole new level of sensation.

He came up from between your legs and looked at your red and sweaty face, marveling at you state. You dared to meet his gaze, a whine at the sudden loss escaping you. His mouth was glistening, his tongue lapping your juices off his perfect lips with a deep drawn out moan, putting on a show for you.

“So under my spell, huh?”, he asked cockily. You writhed at that, hoping he would return to his previous task. 

“So wet and open for me”, he said lewdly, starting to rub your thighs.

“You ever think about me when you pleasured yourself? Getting off on the thought about being fucked up against a wall by a machine, hm? Me filling you up, bending you over your kitchen table, taking you from behind? Pumping in and out at a pace and intensity no human would ever be able to? Feeling what those hands are capable of? What my mouth would feel like while I licked your folds sore? Oh, I bet you did”, he chuckled darkly. 

“And you know why that is? Because you’re my bitch. Are you not?” He tilted his head, looking expectantly up at you.

You would have agreed to anything right now, wanting so badly for him to continue his tortue and speak to you like that. It really got your gears going.

Finding the strength to look him in the eyes you nodded wantonly.

“Well then…” he mumbled and went back to lie between your spread thighs. 

This time you felt the intrusion of his slim and long fore- and middlefinger at once.

“Hnnng!” He had you keening again, pulling at his tie around your wrists.

“Don’t be so whiny. I know you can take it darlin’. Let me give you something to whine about.”

He crooked his fingers then, finding the right spot by instinct that sent you into overdrive and scratched there delicately. Who knew that man had such nimble fingers? You would never be able to watch him play with that coin of his ever again without thinking of THIS.

“Ooooh”, a scream of pleasure filling the air.

Pumping his fingers at a rhythm that drove you close to the border of madness he started licking at your sensitive core again.

“Aaaaooooooh”, you wanted to howl but only managing to sob pitifully, salty tears streaming down you fave from the overstimulation, panting heavily.

With one last deep thrust in to the base knuckles and a skillfull stroke of his tongue he brought you over the edge.

Crying out in pleasure and pain, straining your legs, you let go, coming hard around his digits.

Sardonic and smug smile on his face he got up into a kneel once again, pulling out his fingers oh so leisurely, making sure you would feel every millimeter. With a quiet pop he freed his hand, bringing it to his mouth to lick it clean, sucking his fingers into his mouth while meeting your eyes. Such a dirty bastard. 

“You really taste as delicious as you look”, he murmured lovingly. 

You could not function right now, coming down from your high and probably the most intense orgasm you had yet experienced. Your heart threatened to thud out of your ripcage, breathing like you had just run a marathon. Giving you time to relax a little, all tension leaving your body slowly.

You felt Connor moving to lean over you, face hovering above yours.

“You know… I’m far from done with you, darlin’. You didn’t think I would let off of you that easily, did you?”

You took a deep breath, bracing yourself for what was to come, closing your eyes for a moment. 

“I am going to ask you a question darlin’ and you may speak. Once. Then you’ll go back to being the moaning, needy bitch that you are, alright?”

Nodding once, cheeks flushed to no end he laid a finger on your sternum rubbing lightly.

“You want me to fill you up now? Go in balls deep and screw you senseless? Maybe roughen you up a little along the way, hm? Does that sound appealing to you?”

Son of a bitch! He had you right where he wanted you. Knowing no better you let your head loll to the side, closing your eyes and burying your face in the pillow.

“Oh, yes, please”, you mewled, anticipation crawling over you, shifting your hips impatiently. If his previous actions were anything to go by you were in for the fuck of your life.

Snapping your face back up to look Connor you hoped you did the right thing asking for a kinky, rough ride.

“I didn’t expect anything else”, he answered coldly. 

“After all you’re a sucker for my dick. Been for quite some time, huh?”

You wanted to answer only then remembering you were not allowed to talk anymore. So nodding again it was.

“Well, since you behaved that well up until now, I’m going to give it to you.”

THAT smug smirk again. Then he started to undo his belt tantalizingly slow only to rip it out of the loops of his jeans in a sudden motion. You flinched, he snickered at that

Then he went to work on the button, flicking it open, and zipper, pulling it down, taking his time. He pushed his pants and boxers down his slender hips, letting his artficial but oh so real looking cock spring free. All of a sudden you were not so sure about this being a good idea anymore, not knowing if you could take him all the way. Why did CyberLife design him so huge?

Connor sensed your insecurities, his voice dripping lust.

“Don’t worry. It’ll be a real tight fit, but you’ll manage just fine, trust me. It might take some getting used to though.”

He undid the first two buttons of his shirt while you were still looking at what he was packing. 

He bend over you once again, one hand cupping your face while he rubbed your noses together in an act of intimacy, then kissing you longily, tongues tangling oh so breathtakingly.

“Look at you, darlin’…” he approvingly cooed and started to position himself between your thighs once more. Your heartbeat going up by the second.

“So obedient”, he brought up one leg around his waist.

“So submissive”, then the other.

You hooked your ankles behind his back, not being able to think straight anymore. 

“I wonder what HE would say to this”, he nodded in your direction. You did not respond to that. Who was he talking about?

Connor then looked at the clock on your bedside table. 

“Oh, we still have enough time left.”

You turned your head to see that it was only a few minutes after 10pm. Oh boy.

You turned to look at Connor again, hooded eyes waiting for him to make his next move. He shook his shoulders like he was trying to shake off a cramp, relaxing sore muscles. He put his hands on your hips, gripping just a bit too hard. You know you were gonna have bruises to remeber this by and you did not care the slightest bit. Your gaze travelled down his torso, thinking about how good that jacket looked on him with the blue armband, shirt underneath a little undone and the emblem, the modell and serial number… wait. Something was off. #313 248 317 - 60 

That was not right. You knew that number by heart, it ended on -51.

Horrified you looked up to his face with wide eyes, a devious smile on his features. He knew what you had just seen.

“Surprise, bitch!" 

And with that he slammed into you all the way, making you cry out in shock and agony.

No, no, no, no! This could not be happening! Who was he? Why did he come here instead of… The thoughts were pushed out if your mind as 'Connor’ pulled out and drove back in brutally, setting a hurtful rhythm stretching you painfully wide. 

"Get off me asshole! Stop, AH”, a strangled moan escaping you as he found that spot from earlier again. Bitter tears starting to fall, breathing getting kind of heavy. Oh god no.

“Please”, you begged “Please, just stop this. I… I will do whatever you… Ooooh”, another deeper and longer moan. It was so humiliating.

“Oh, you’re already doing what I want darlin’. No need to fret”, he smiled cruelly down at you as he kept on pumping in and out forcefully throwing his head back once. Your attempts to kick him off failed miserably. It was no use, you could not even begin to match his strength. Also you were tied down.

You threw your head to the side, panting nonstop now and feeling an orgasm approaching you did not want to have. 

Why? What have you done to deserve this? 

Sobbing violently now you wished for him to just vanish into thin air. 'Connor' was not phased by it. If anything it just fuelled him on, hips snapping to bruise.

“Yeah, I know. You’re getting close, hm? So fucking shameless it’s disgusting actually.”

“Oh god, oh god”, you chanted under your breath. This had to be a nightmare. Had to.

“Well, okay, if you wanna call me that. But… you know what I’d like even more? Scream my name and beg for it. Beg for release.” A merciless laugh escaped him.

You could not possibly do that. You did not even know the name he went by and even if you did, it would be last thing in the world you wanted to do. Encouraging that monster.

“What’s the matter darlin’? Cat got your tongue? You know my name very well. All RK 800 models have the same”, he tormented.

“No”, you keened “I’ll never… Aaah… do this!”

“Hm”, disdain written all over his face, “We’ll see about that.”

A sharp smack landed on your cheek, his hand gripping your jaw uncomfortably rough. Startled eyes looking up at him. 

“Say it”, he hissed. 

You shook your head a little, trying to push the fear aside and staring defiantly now, moaning again, a little more wantonly this time too. No, you would not allow him to break you.

Another hard slap.

“I can do this all day if that’s what you’re playing at. Although I have an appointment with your sweetheart in about an hour, so you better be quick.”

“Nnnng”, another strangled moan. No, you were getting to close for comfort. You swallowed hard.

“Come on darlin’. Is it that hard to say? I thought we had a good time tonight. I thought you loved me, hm?”

“N-no… Never you”, you gritted out after a moment, your hipbones starting to ache frome the sheer force he was thrusting into you with.

You knew you could not take much longer, you felt your inner walls give in thinking to feel him making you bleed.

“Aw, now that really hurt my feelings, you know? How about I give you a little more of what I have to offer then.”

His thrusts sped up, inhumanly fast. It was sheer torment. You were screaming and crying consistently now. He put one hand around your throat, squeezing dangerously hard.

“Come on! You’re not getting out of here any other way”, he warned.

You could not take it anymore and allowed yourself to give in. You came violently painful, a strangled cry of despair and agony leaving your mouth, but 'Connor’ would not stop. He let go of your throat at least and you coughed.

“I’m going to keep you cumming until you do as I tell you. Say it and it all ends here.”

Overstimulated and aching to no end, you knew you were trapped from the beginning. How could you not have seen that it was not your Connor at the door? Your sweet, sweet Connor that made you smile and not cry. That Connor who would never lay a hand on you to violate you.

You were ashamed of what you were about to do but how else would it all stop? 

“Connor… please… pleeeease!”, you cried desperately, sobbing.

With the words on your lips he came, stopping his hurtful motions and spilling his dirty artificial seed deeply inside of you. You were disgusted by yourself. Feeling the semen mingling with your blood.

“Oh yeah, that’s what I’m talking about”, he grunted deeply satisfied while pulling out.

You sighed in relief, feeling a painful throb inside if you.

A smirk grazing his lips.

“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?”, he smirked eerily.

You could not look him in the eye. You wanted him just leave you, broken and bruised as you were.

“I bet your Connor wouldn’t make scream like I just did." 

He went on mockingly, raising one eyebrow, caressing your cheek. You flinched at his touch.

"What a shame to waste such good material. So very responsive. I really like it when you sob.”

“Why?”, you murmured almost inaudible, not comprehending the whole mess.

“Why?”, he repeated, clearly enjoying himself.

“My mission is to destroy the compromised model 51. Since he’s so fond of you it’s only natural I start by destroying the thing he cherishes the most… you”, he tapped his temple for emphasize, speaking as if it was as plain as can be.

“I know all of that since I’ve got his memory uploaded. Fascinating, isn’t it?”

When you did not answer he continued his monologue.

“So. Now that we’re finished up here”, he stood up from the bed, tucking himself back in, buttoning his shirt back up. 

“I’ll leave you to it. I have to take care of my predecessor at the CyberLife tower anyway. Tell him what a needy cock whore his sweet little girl is." 

He shot a bemused look your way. 

"I heard he has gone deviant now. I’ll give your regards to him before I end his miserable existence.”

“If you hurt him, I swear to god…!”, you found the last bit of strength you had.

“That’s cute. Coming from the women who spread her legs more eagerly than a cheap fuck in the Detroit red-light district”, he chuckled. “What could you possibly do to stop me, hm?”

You closed your eyes, hot tears streaming down your hurting cheeks and when you opened them again 'Connor’ stood at the hearboard releasing you from your restraints to fix the tie neatly around his neck. You immediately curled into a ball wishing you could turn back the time.

“There’s no shame in enjoying this, darlin’. I did work you up good after all didn’t I? You know what I loved about it the most?" 

He did not wait for a response and gripped your chin demandingly forcing you to look at him.

"From now on, whenever you say his name or look him in the eyes… All you’ll think about… is me”, he whispered maliciously, staring at you with an ice cold stare.

“Well, if he comes back that is…”, he added as an afterthought a smile in his voice, then huffing once.

With a whistle in his lips he left your bedroom and soon you heard the frontdoor open and close again. Then there was only silence.

Oh god. What have you done? A blind fool, that was what you were. You began to bawl bitterly, sobs racking your body. 

How was anything ever going to be okay? You knew that bastard was right, he had ruined you for Connor. He had claimed you for himself. You felt yourself getting sick, dry heaving over the side of your bed.

Right now you did not think that you could ever again enjoy the nearness of someone. Who would touch a tainted body like yours anyway? Oh for fuck’s sake. Would you be able to look at yourself in the mirror again after doing what you had done? And Connor, oh dear god…

How were you going to explain all of this to Connor? Would he even look at you ever again? Dirty, hurt, broken. How could you look him in the eye after all this? Too blind to see that it had not been him when it was visible to the naked eye all along. He would have picked you out of a large crowd with certainty you were sure. You did not deserve his forgiveness or affection anymore. You deserved everything you had just received.

Howling your pain into the dark you were growing more and more tired, but sleep would not find you tonight. All you thought about was how you would set things right with Connor.

If he comes back that is…

**

A few hours later when your mind was still numb and your tears had dried up you were still curled up on your bed. You were not a single step further on how to make amends. You had not even bothered to clean yourself up after all this.

Staring blankly at the wall you flinched by the sudden knocking on your door. 

“Oh, please, no… not again.“


	2. so drum the devils out your dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set a few hours after "if i had a heart"
> 
> Dealing with the horrible events of the evening you try to find comfort. Or maybe comfort does find you first?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, since the first chapter went a whole lot darker than I intended *oops* I had to write a little more.
> 
> Notes/Warnings: NC-17 just to be sure, elements of NON-CON, NSFW at all! explicit language, descriptive, violence, abuse, recovery, fluff and angst
> 
> Not beta'd.

"Oh, please, no... not again."

This could not be. That knocking sent violent shivers down your spine. With that godawful sound your torment had started a few hours earlier. He could not be back. He just could not be.  
Closing your eyes and burying your face in the pillow to muffle your panicked shrieks you waited for the noise to stop.  
You had a faint hope that your mind was just playing tricks on you, that it was all just in your head.  
Why would that monster come back here anyway? To torture you in a second session? That bastard knew when he left, that this would not be necessary. He had already broken your soul, your will. You.  
He had done a good job regarding his self-imposed objective. Apparently the RK800 line really was not designed to fail.  
You heard a muted voice but did not hear what it was saying. Then it was silent for a minute before the knocking was back, voice yelling louder, still not able to make out words though.  
Why would he not just stop? All that mocking and taunting, playing with your fear of getting assaulted once again. You would never get rid of that feeling. Never get rid of him.  
_It_, you corrected yourself. This one did not deserve to be called a living, feeling being.  
You could not bear it anymore when suddenly the noise stopped again. Tears falling freely as the events of the evening replayed in your head, pictures of that devilish face appearing whenever you closed your eyes.  
Those eyes of his that held no pity, only mockery and scorn. That, now that you came to think of it, were so different to the ones you usually got lost in.  
That were watching gleefully while you were falling apart under him completely.  
This mouth that had roamed your body to spread its poison while feigning love and that whispered filthily in your ear, making you feel a new kind of worthless, shaking you to the bone.  
These hands that were not holding to caress and pleasure but to penetrate and violate, gripping to bruise and taint. Your hand shot to your throat where you knew and felt a purple mark was forming in the shape of those hands. You would feel them for a long time after it was visibly healed.  
He did get his rocks off at your helplessness. You being at his mercy and he indulging himself in that feeling while you prayed for it to end. You have never been more humiliated than tonight.  
You grew up with the warnings of people around you, to avoid dark alleys late at night and never walk alone in a deserted part of town just like every other girl. Keep your clothes chaste and not too inviting for someone to get the wrong idea.  
Well all of these well meaning, antiquated and in a way misogynistic advice was good for nothing when the real danger came to your door, drop-dead gorgeous and you let it in without a second thought.  
Somewhere in the living room your phone rang. You did not care. There was no one you wanted to talk to right now. What were you going to say anyway? Tell them everything? No, you were too ashamed for that. Getting fooled into bed by a doppelganger of your friend respectively crush and giving yourself to him completly in a fit of passion because you could not keep your legs closed for a minute. That RK800 had been right, you were an easy mark. In the blink of an eye you threw your dignity out of the window. And your panties soon had followed.  
You sobbed violently again, not sure if this would ever get better. You looked to your feet and saw the dried blood stain on your sheet mixed with the milky liquid you had felt leaking out earlier as another shameful reminder and cringed. At least the physical pain had subsided little while lying absolutely still.  
Your phone was still ringing for the umpteenth time. Someone really wanted you to pick up.  
They had to wait.  
It would be morning soon, sunrise still a while away but you knew that you had to move sometime in the foreseeable future. Calling in sick for the day or maybe three was high on the list you had come up with to distract you from your misery.  
Your eyelids drooping from exhaustion and your mind going dull slowly but steadily. Sleep was something you needed a lot of right now but the panic from what might await you in your dreams kept you awake.  
Facing the door to your hallway you saw the flicker of the TV that sometime tonight had switched to the nightly programm of more or less informative documentaries.  
Then suddenly your heard a rustling sound at your frontdoor again, like someone was shuffling something around, the you heard the metallic clanking of the lock. The spare key!  
Your eyes widened in horror. Oh no, no, no, no. How could you have thought that the flower pot in the hallway beside your door was the best hiding place for that thing?  
No that could not be true. He really was back! He was going to make your life a living hell. Please no! You could not take anymore tonight, not ever.  
You hoisted yourself up and flinched at the jolt of pain that ripped from you lower abdomen through your belly.  
Hide! You had to hide. Carefully lifting your legs from out of the bed you were not sure if they could support you right now. You were shaking like a leaf when you heard the doorhandle and the squeak of the door before it fell back into its lock.  
Standing up, wobbly and panicked you almost instantly collapsed to the floor beside our bed. Quick. You needed to be quicker if you wanted to escape him!  
"(Y/N)?", you heard his voice calling out to you affecting worry and gentleness.  
Not again. You would not fall for that a second time.  
"Are you home?" Voice a little louder this time. "(Y/N)!"  
You could see a shadow nearing the couch, then a familiar frame in a CyberLife uniform. He ran his fingers along the armrest, head turning from side to side like he was looking for something. Someone.  
Teeth chattering you crawled backwards on all fours until your back hit your bedside table.  
Oh god, he was going to find you soon. There was no secret escape way in your appartment. This was not a scary movie with a happy ending but the harsh reality.  
You heard his clicking footsteps on your wooden floor, slow and cautious but steadily getting closer.  
Eyes shut tight now you wrapped your arms around your drawn up knees and waited. What else could you do really?  
You had to stay strong. Just endure it and do as he says. He would have to stop eventually.  
Another thought crossed you mind which you wanted to push far, far away. Nononono...  
If he was here again, then where was Connor? Your Connor. Please, no...  
"No", you half sobbed, half whispered knowing exactly where he would be right now. A bullet through the head if he was lucky. If not... You knew what this model was capable of, which atrocities he would gladly commit. With a smile on his face.  
You would have loved to at least see Connor once more now that he was a deviant.  
Maybe see him smile for real only just one time. Hear his laughter, holding his hand. And hugging the hell out of him just for the sake of it. You had dreamed of kissing him for so long. To be held. And loved.  
This all would never be now.  
Not only because Sixty, as you dubbed this devil for he was not worthy to share the same name, had robbed you of Connor himself. He had also made sure you could never enjoy being close to someone again. Trust someone when you were at your most vulnerable. He fucked all of this right out of you.  
The light from the hallway was suddenly very dim, a figure blocking it by standing in the door frame.  
This was it. He had found you and you were going to pay, you knew.  
You tried to concentrate on your ragged breaths, forcing yourself to not listen to him and not struggle. You shrunk back into yourself, keeping your mind off the obvious and imminent danger.  
He kneeled before you, was talking to you, hastily, worried. Just for show. You did not hear a word he said.  
Hand on your cheek making you flinch and back away. Stay strong, show no fear. He would love you to be terrified.  
Look away, eyes shut tight!  
He turns your head to him again, you let him, not having any fight left in you.  
His thumb caressing your tear-streaked cheek.  
Just a lie! Do not give in!  
"Hey..."  
It was a whisper, so soft and mellow. It would have made your heart skip a beat. Had you not been so afraid for your life.  
"Shhh, it's alright. It's alright. Just look at me, (Y/N). Hm, look at me", he whispered, barely audible, a gentleness in every syllable that made you want to believe it was him. So bad.  
Tears starting again, you thought you had already cried them all, that there were none left. You were wrong.  
"Please, love", his other hand on your forearm now, you whimpered.  
"Open your eyes... It's me, Connor."  
That bastard. No he would not trick you again. Fool me once...  
"Go away", you whispered.  
You heard him exhale.  
"Please, (Y/N)", helplessness and despair evident in his words.  
You wanted so badly to believe him, you caught yourself leaning into his touch.  
"I'm not going anywhere. Never again."  
With trembling lips and your mind telling you to kick him to the curb, you acted against your better judgement. Your heart telling you to look, sneak a little peak, even if it meant that you would have to face your tormentor once again.  
Slowly you opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was his tie. Images fleeting through your head. _Or are you up for a little bit more than just that?_ Don't!  
"There you go", he encouraged quietly.  
Gaze flickering to the right side of his jacket, you had learned from your mistakes.  
RK 800  
#313 248 317 - 51  
Weeping now you brought your hands up to hide your face, sobs racking your body. You shivered all over.  
Oh, thank goodness!  
"It's you", you murmured daring to look up now that you had seen the right numbers.  
Connor was down on one knee, compassion and relief on his face, eyes shining with unshed tears of his own. But he was smiling at you lopsidedly.  
How could you have mistaken that fake Connor for him? They did look alike, of course, but there was a depth to him the other version lacked. His features so much softer, the way he moved... Same same but different.  
Warmth flooded through you. That smile you had been longing for for so long. You felt like breathing might be possible again after all.  
"Connor...!" You brought your arms up around his neck, clinging to him.  
He brought his arms around your middle, not touching though just hovering slightly above your frame.  
You cried into his shoulder, inhaled his scent. So clean, so pure. Accompanied by little Thirium-note. Just so different from it.  
You stayed like that for a while before you realized that his hands were not making contact.  
"Hold me please?", you asked quietly.  
"Of course, love." Then he put his arms around you protectively, holding your close and tight, his cheek pressed against your temple. You wanted to melt into him, never let go again. Gosh, this felt so right. Like you belonged.

Neither of you said anything for a long time.  
Connor letting you shed all the tears that you needed to and not pushing you into talking.  
But you knew that sometime you had to talk, you could not sit here forever just hug and being hugged. Tempting as it was.

When you had calmed down, telling every last cell in your body that you were safe, no need to be alert anymore you found your voice, hoarse from crying and small from humiliation.  
"Connor... He was here. I thought it was you! I... He...He did things...", your voice broke again but Connor had already started talking back.  
"Shhh. It's okay. It's over now. He was destroyed earlier tonight. Hank shot him at the CyberLife Tower. He can't harm you anymore", he consoled you.  
"I've got you now, don't be scared anymore."  
He kissed the top of your head lightly.  
"No. Don't! I don't... I don't deserve this. You have to... You should be mad at me. I didn't see that he wasn't you." Hasty spoken words flowed out of your mouth.  
"Mad? Why would I be mad at you? There's no reason...", not comprehending why you would feel that way.  
"I got stupid. I let him trick me and I liked it. At first. He used me because I let him."  
"Love, no. That wasn't your fault..."  
"Oh, but it was my fault. He was right, if I hadn't been such a needy little..."  
"Stop right there!" He interrupted you.  
"Don't you ever think for one second that a single word he said was true. That he had any right to talk to you that way and get into your head. That he had any right to touch you and to... to hurt you like that", Connor whispered assuringly into your ear. It felt so good to hear him say it, even if you knew it was a lie. No one could be that understanding. You confused your best friend, the one you loved, with a total stranger and did not notice until it was too late. He did not know the things you voluntarily let him do to you.  
You froze, eyes going wide, letting go of his neck. Sitting in front of him and looking up into those brown eyes, full of hurt and empathy, his eyebrows scrunched up.  
"Wait... how do you... ?" You trailed off. How would Connor know? No, he just said that to comfort you. He could not possibly... Could he know?  
That would be a new kind of humiliating.  
"At the tower... after he told me that he had payed you a visit, he bragged about the things he had done to you. He... he was so... proud and cocky. I was petrified not knowing if he was just mocking me or actually saying the truth."  
He fell silent then, needing to sort through his thoughts.  
Please, no. That monster had told Connor everything! But why would he come here then? After all you had done tonight. How you failed him big time by getting yourself worked up by that...  
"After Hank shot him, I accessed his memory."  
No, no, no... No!  
"Tell me you didn't...", your voice broke.  
"I had to know! I saw... everything. I felt everything. Like... like I was the one doing it." He closed his eyes and let his head fall forward.  
"I'm sorry (Y/N)."  
You could not believe your ears. Why was he sorry? You should be the one to eat humble pie.  
"There is nothing you have to be sorry about", you whispered. "It was all my doing."  
"You shouldn't have gotten mixed up in all of this. It's my fault that he came to your door. He wanted to hurt me!"  
He looked up at that, straight into your red and puffy eyes, his artificial heart aching for you. He looked like he was about to burst into tears any second now.  
"Oh, he wanted to hurt me too, you can be sure of that..."  
"I... What I saw..."  
"It's okay, Con..."  
"It's far from okay. Very far."  
After a short pause he continued.  
"If it weren't for me you would still be happy now..."  
You reached out at that taking his hand and intertwining your fingers with his, trying to smile reassuringly and failing.  
"If it weren't for you I wouldn't have been happy for the past few months."  
He smiled at that.  
Your other hand came to rest near the blue stain on his jacket just below his shoulder.  
"You're hurt...", you noticed gloomily, rubbing your fingers gently over the fabric trying to soothe a pain he did not feel.  
"It'll heal soon on its own I guess. If not, I'll get it fixed at a repair shop."

A comfortable silence fell over you both, you kept on stroking the back of his hand while he was looking at you with so much affection it made your heart bubble over with joy. You had not expected that you would be able to feel that ever again.  
You had the immense luck of Connor having your back. That he was caring deeply for you. Connected on a level that was hard to understand for outsiders.

"What do you say, love? Let's get you cleaned up a little, hm? Maybe take you to a hospital, just to be sure..."  
"NO! No hospital. I don't wanna have to explain...", you slightly panicked at the thought.  
"Alright, alright. No hospital then", he relented. "So... Can you walk or should I carry you to the bathroom?"  
You held your arms out to him and he slowly scooped you up of the cold floor to carry you bridal style to the bathroom across the hallway. His touch was as gentle as could be, reassuring, healing. You laid your head on his chest and just listened to the sound of his thirium pump. He pressed a featherlight kiss to your forehead and you closed your eyes.   
„How about I tell you how we won a revolution tonight, hm?" He chuckled at that and you had to smile faintly too. „Or we save that for another time...“  
There was so much to say, but none of it mattered now. You somehow knew that you two would overcome all of this. The day had taken its toll on the both of you and you would feel the consequences of that for a long, long time. But you were together now and that had to count for something.


End file.
